a bunch of twenty somethings wanting to live like the thirty somethings we listen to depends on the individual one day you courageous, tomorrow the same course of action perceived as pitiful/ less than eager to listen to that type of talk tell me to break a leg, i snap it in half you say walk it off as if i don't talk enough as if i don't deserve to work on new shit and shut up either that or learn to truth is, im often caught between this coffin dream hawking green loogies at the othe teams dugout i was dug out of a plot check my grave demeanor i was fucked out of my spot playing follow the leader they say you don't know your problems until you've beat the odds i'm in between just trying to call it even, leaving the shit paused feeling the grit between my claws, i don't really have a casue or reason left to front i must enjoy being upset i get annoyed at times, because i always see me best and everyone else has only got a silhouette from stares i'm sitting at the big table, telling fables to dinner guests who'd rather see me give up, then get up and get what's fair i'm doing chin ups and growing out all my hair to remind myself what i looked like when i was still young and hungry so i can see the difference between gossip and gospel between humble and hostile, giving to and taking from me i'm empty now, im sure you see that if you can find some pieces of me that aren't broken, you can keep em there's some things that i've lost that i don't need back ever and you can probably find a better use for demons never at a loss for words, so if i'm quiet, knowing i'm lying or withholding information that'd be useful at the moment i'm my father's child, i bottle shit inside and stay silent if i feel like you won't keep your mind open, here's to hoping that you never feel lonely...in a room full of folks that you're close to and i won't lie like i don't feel it at times hurts deeps like its supposed to be there keeping me from breathing air i suffocate, i trust you to make the right decision on me the precise course of action that keeps the train rolling but if you never break through and deliver the great news that you've found something solid in my pond, i don't blame you i may someday be a father one of the rare things i trust pull together all my pieces pummel diamonds into dust i am not a martyr, i am not dying, and i am not a sheep to slaughter just a poorly drawn lion, trying we had to stay on the safe side now we had to stay on the safe side now burn down the city son learn your lessons one by one by one by one by they can't take your flame away they can't take your flame today

greatest lie that was ever told you believe every line of it as for the truth, you'll prolly never know angel of death was still in heaven's hold at one point i'd trade my life for a chance to have a better soul we run the gamut of belief sounds illogical, but you just sit quiet and grit your teeth when the lion's share of silent folk could get eaten and not speak i let out a sigh of relief thats a sign of my grief still assigning my friends with problems i should fix greener on the other side but grass is high and mighty thick life is flying in the sky but i'm too shy to pilot it i'd rather sit off to the side, tell a lie and say i quit that's the issue, deep down, i'm horrified of who i could be scared of all the people in my past who understood me fearful i may not enjoy the bed that i have built and aware that i'm the only one still living with the guilt you seem to think i'm being honest now insisting i was full of shit till pluck my chest and hear a hollow sound any pride that i still have is in the toilet, all that swallowed down you'd think that every place i laid my head at night was hallowed ground pound for pound i'm just a old boy life shifts between war and peace swiftly i am tolstoy trying to write it down while it isn't so upsetting committing everything i know to memory and forgetting niggas seem know me before they ever met me like i'm constantly in a haze of success in a jet stream like every night a fall alseep rest assured ill have a wet dream like the bugs in my bed don't infest me that's the issue, deep down, i'm horrified of who i could be scared of all the people in my past who understood me fearful i may not enjoy the bed that i have built and aware that i'm the only one still living with the guilt brick by brick, i've built this, and not proud stories and compulsive lies are all i have got now the truth i done fought down, a facade that i've bought with money i make in public, fucked around and got caught selling you on a version that was perfect and outstanding when i'm finally taken to task, watch me flip and miss the landing i'm an imposter, a full grown monster blow out of proportion that potential couldn't produce if i was handed it feel like a bandit, i'm mugging your affection burning at both ends from the constant attention bowing under pressure, pulling strings and taking aim at me because i'll never be the mother fucker that i claim to be that's the issue, deep down, i'm horrified of who i could be scared of all the people in my past who understood me fearful i may not enjoy the bed that i have built and aware that i'm the only one still living with it

in my head, im already kanye but id rather be rhymefest/ its not about the best rhymes, its bout about who lies best/ massive cultural impact, top 5 in readers digest/ bigger than mercades benz and the white in a pyrex/ its just fuck boys pillow talking/ way they talk about depression makes me think that you aint been there often/ cuz most of us cry for help by ourself/ seeking leverage in a purchase we cant buy our mental health/ and if i drop dead/ ain't nobody with a pulitzer prize writing an op-ed/ most of us slow down when the cop there/ and get listened to by white kids who grew up with their pops there/ and i still see the slut shaming and pin up barbies at the vanguard, victim blaming and trigger warnings gun toting, gang brawls at dinner parties respect the legends from a distance, cuz we slipping farther hip hop is major, same chick with 6 different fathers mine was from minneaplois, so i beg your pardon it was speaking for the streets, nowadays not so often talk about street justice and find a spitter who isn't bothered hook niggas used to have gun rep used to using the tools to make it through to the sunset cuz they was tryna get son wet talking crazy when your pistol game is suspect hope your gangsta stays unchecked god bless i been rapping since i was young enough to dream through my 20s i put effort forth to being on a team the closer i got to thirty, the more that i saw the scene the bigger the shit got the more being a critic means V2 on my joe budden soap box an everday struggle just not to get cold cocked all about fun and maybe that show stopped it was akademic years ago that the message would go pop im fine with depressive talk bout medicines you take but the messages that you hawk and your precense in the game is evolution of the art but the essence of the phrase is impossible without spark necessity...darwin thought everybodys a critic alotta money for this culture but hella bodies come with it balast on the boat helping these callous assholes keep a sinking ship afloat white capitalists and their stock holders trying to pimp a ghost Pac and biggie, them niggas would be 50 Mac and Peep, Bobby and Meek keeping the peace meant keeping a piece and 400 degrees meant, bullets in buses niggas say they your father then pay a nigga to gun him having seizures in the club cuz nobody would son him bunch of nodding head yes men protecting their investments tuck a glock for the homie, end up getting arrested even the ones thats sick with the pen em lines been slicing gems for decades now he piss in the wind going back and forth with critics trying hard fit in if it sounds like an attention whore, it probably is we been talking bout our women since the start of the game admitting that shit is fraud is at the heart of the change don't wanna call names even kendrick and jermaine go hard for black folks but do black women the same im tired of what its come to and also where it has led sorry for anyone thats offended by what i've said apologize to the legends and veterans that are clinging so dearly to relevance stolen by the young and the dead i can only speak from experience things that we all observe paying attention to metamorphosis of spoken word when times have come and gone some of us have the nerve to stake claim to a craft thats taken over the earth not sure where i stand not sure where to go not positive if hip hop is where i go gold the problem is i'm tryna live off of speaking from my soul but so many of what was left has already been sold

i am the best out i heard theres a midnight oil shortage niggas better get they rest now necklace rappers poke they chest out i'm the dictionary type to run verbal laps around professors you in remedial, your last effort left you butt hurt shit was a let down your spits are like a rope ladder i rather steps up, niggas with they nose up get they necks cut tell me who the next up, fuck these boys, and tell yourself the confessions i been at for a minute and a half begging for attention from niggas who won't even give me dap i'm like, who the fuck is that? never met em, if i had, i would remember 24/7 3 hundred sixty 5, january till december every year that i'm alive a certified threat if you haven't me yet, prepare your asshole feeling froggy, ak smash the fucking tadpole i made friends that catch arrows sitting side saddle in that old school camaro while my pops breeds angel fish up shits creek keeping stride with the tadpoles i walk a path only ak knows i go where my clan goes, bitch to the rest of you, i'm van gogh with this fame shit same stage game, expect no ovation with that strange stage name that nobody can say correctly nature of a super hero focus of a chess meet examine myself before the public can test me only eat breast meat only after sex they say i'm amateur in top form but to my parents im the best i show my ass as a sign of gratitude i can make a fan of you im no street nigga, road or avenue, break character hoping the sadness would fracture too putting my lower self on blast in an effort to capture you talk to you after school put your ass on sabbatical fast, boy, who bad as you nobody, i'm adamant slow rappers on adderal twista niggas like cannabis spit it strange like a tech nine measure lines like a analyst you are shit, you are ill equipped you built like a mannequin you are a puddle of piss i am a fountain of arrogance i am an animal, putting you in paralysis my raps are like calculus being done on an abacus ill have your girl speaking Italian like her ass work at the Vatican

leather bound hellion sky bound brown pelican so proud of my endowment of melanin no burden for the fallen she'd prolly call and tell a friend keeps her heart in her coffin for when she goes to hell again her backwash tastes like asphault spitting out a road and sucking up the rope that the enzymes braid you methods might've changed but your motive prolly won't the ghost you leave when you breathe last won't waste time on a haunt you're on a roll and though they wanna break bread you don't break stride and at the end you'll say its been a great ride even if it turns out we've taken five having your weight above my waist feels like i'm buried alive baby, even if it seems we're gonna divide having your mouth covering mine till i suffocate and die is fine she loves me she loves me not she stays the course to watch me rot she's fucking perfect she's loved worse she finishes last she comes first cuz im swimming with dolphins im climbing mountains dont know if ill amount to the hill i climb but i know without you i am nothing as long as i got you ill be just fine soon we'll find how low we go and if ill be your romeo we'll spend our days in comatose don't let me go, just hold me close so i know we fight a bunch enough to make my loose lips wanna tighten up getting into it bout all types of stuff tell a joke to try to break the ice sometimes i wonder if you'll ever lighten up i try to keep it low key around the house but even then it seems as though my low keyness has you wildin' out i give you the penis then we have a disagreement bout your treatment but i'll never be in doubt bout who my queen is yea its you

Its been unbearably long, I take it never been prone to fall just recently noticed the grey in her hair notice me and my father are bald can't be stress that's making us lose it half of a half of a century, still not prepared maybe im scared, afraid i'll be lost once they aren't there maybe acutely aware that the music I write now its right at the limit of being too young for me even my team is becoming too grown for it notice my friends are all married and got em some kids maybe me too in a couple of years maybe vitality don't really last and neither do parents the sum of all fears maybe not even your friends go the distance no matter your effort and privilege the day that we're born we begin being finished down the creek we're born obsolete not fighting morality finding a battle in life that we all gonna wage i'm counting the days milking the clock while you live at your pace (maybe there's just) no accounting for taste how many rings in your talons count them and count on your anguish time is language and im speaking clear as rain/ on a road going nowhere no time to wait no time to lose your time is up i'm climbing up where will i wind up / how many rings in the scale on the shell of your tortoise been counting them since you were too young to notice on a road to the borders everything is out of order no time to waste you've lost your mind your time is up watch wood dissolve watch lead erase and that iron rust V2 losing my mind, yea im losing my mother and farther im cashing my karma out coming to terms with it, lashing out i thought id be dead by now watching my cousins go through worried my uncle might lose it worried that life is a gift and i lost it trying to proceed with some caution shoulda been jerking the wheel shoulda been more on the fly dinnt even give it a try i been so nice, i been so caught in the past my mind is swept up in a draft watching them age watching them bicker and hoping their safe hoping they're good, hoping their taking their meds and getting some help when they're feeling depressed maybe i should..

To be, or not to be, that is the question: Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, Or to take arms against a sea of troubles And by opposing end them. To die—to sleep, No more; and by a sleep to say we end The heart-ache and the thousand natural shocks That flesh is heir to: 'tis a consummation Devoutly to be wish'd. To die, to sleep; To sleep, perchance to dream—ay, there's the rub: For in that sleep of death what dreams may come, When we have shuffled off this mortal coil, Must give us pause—there's the respect That makes calamity of so long life. For who would bear the whips and scorns of time, Th'oppressor's wrong, the proud man's contumely, The pangs of dispriz'd love, the law's delay, The insolence of office, and the spurns That patient merit of th'unworthy takes, When he himself might his quietus make With a bare bodkin? Who would fardels bear, To grunt and sweat under a weary life, But that the dread of something after death, The undiscovere'd country, from whose bourn No traveller returns, puzzles the will, And makes us rather bear those ills we have Than fly to others that we know not of? Thus conscience does make cowards of us all, And thus the native hue of resolution Is sicklied o'er with the pale cast of thought, And enterprises of great pitch and moment With this regard their currents turn awry And lose the name of action.

no love for the rich no funds for the poor just when you've found your pitch they go and change the score i know that i'm no savior i know that i'm no saint i know there's something creeping just beneath that drying paint no sheep in a wolfpack kept neat in burlap cut clean from the sure get insecure baby run your shit i've never been happy always had that chip always got in your face and spoke my truth biting my lip while i'm gripping my dick like a .22 sipping my tea like its all i do like its all i know, like that's my proof if you stay out the way and mind your business nobody notices you nobody coming you nobody checking to see if you there but have you go missing, you soak up attention and suddenly everyone cares that shit is crazy who da fuck you calling crazy you must think that you are stable if you haven't eaten all you sickest thoughts then why you sitting at the table a born performer, contagious laughter my first impression was a happy child the crowd was packed, but when the show is over i fade to black, can't catch me now d.o.n. This encroaching forboding is a strobe pulse, ski sloping, tea totaling teetering forward, coping mechanism decomposing, seems I'm muzzling a bit of vitriol, seething ether under all of it, you're deceived at believing it's easy peezy, but the seedy growth means when logic emerges the briars have it, so the rhymes are jagged, and the musings scattered, and the exoskeleton bruises easy, you would think I'm durable I'm a myriad, of scabs and scars, a jungle gym, a maze of bars, i camouflage my hang ups, a frag grenade, I let shrapnel scatter inner monologue haggles, I don't talk to strangers, when I walk my gait is at a awkward angle, this zombie warble can alarm a passer by, thousand yard glare is Baron Samdei, with a barren wig piece I bare the likeness of Slender man, with an inky tint, and a nigger twinge to my ignorance, but it's a Kenyan kilometer beyond, any honky Americana intellectualism, in direct conjunction to my convictions SymmaTree No peace when the morn comes, no rest when sun sets/ Staring in the mirror like you're waiting to see somebody looking back that you haven't become yet/ No food for the closed mouth, no gain without pain I suppose/ Shots to the frame, chalk it up to the game like it's all been the same but it's taken its toll/ Like a passionate kiss with a little bit of agony wrapped in the bliss/ Bills stacked high with no cash in your fist/ With a hole in your soul and a gash in your wrist/ Thinking bout the chances you had but you missed/ So you're mad at the world but still glad you exist/ Wanna fade away but you're trapped and persist/ In a maze that you made, slip back in abyss/ I wanted peace but love and war demand you raise the stakes/ I wanna sleep but chasing dreams will make you stay awake/ Running in place on a day-to-day, lost a lotta friends when I made mistakes/ Not a lot gained when I gave up faith/ Blades at my feet, need to pave my way/

beckon quake shake my mind, i think it might, im broken, i break im thinking outside the river the lake you bend and you bend you quiver, aim gets taken bury the arrow deep, im embalmed in this American apparel man im talking in sleep walking from the light switch, creeping through the pitch black night like a bad game of charades larking awkward cuz i have no escape no outlet, she tells me she's in love but she don't know what dude's about yet and all of a sudden, out of my mouth crept a flagrant lie she's just fragrance on a skeleton that won't shake loose a mirage, i swear to god i have never known truth cuz before the night before, i did not know you i'm better left alone, i see myself in every bone im prone to it, i don't know much, just that love is ruthless she's naive and needs to feel alive even if that means that she's taking a dive i will be her latest regret its why you never say never you just it was a while, and that you barely remember you're as much of a man as your cellar but she could prolly hide her shame there better im no changed man, she'll never be a charm that changed hands getting flipped head over heels and spun, attempting a break dance she's in love with me acceptance is a song sung in an ugly key kept her tongue in cheek barbs right above the teeth marks and i don't have the strength to tell her, she's not the first one to come here and leave scars she's bold and learning her lessons at my expense while the innocence in her slowly dies i'm lowly seeking her blessing she don't know that i'm stealing her essence to seal my demons inside beckon quake shake my mind, i think it might, im broken, i break im thinking outside the river the lake you bend and you bend you quiver, aim gets taken beckon quake shake my mind, i think it might, im broken, i break im thinking outside the river the lake you bend and you bend you quiver, aim her calm cool touch like a broad stroke brush loaded up a smeared over my rough edges nuff said if she ever looked close enough she'd see that my embrace is expensive and my love isn't free if i show her how i've fallen she'll pull me in deeper at the risk of sounding cliche i am not a keeper i am irate and damaged her eyes dilate as if she's found a new expectation she needs to manage i am faded, i am sedated i am lethal she is ageless she is basic she is simple i am awful she is perfect i won't infect her she is giving everything she has and i can't protect her we can't avoid pain so we aim for the lesser we challenge ourselves and then some become better i swim in her river she waxes, she wanes as the tide comes back in we're back at it again

i was born with some money, now look at me all my homies barely knew they daddies i was all about the numbers, even when the shit was hard man i was like an honorary mathlete i hit the books rarely, took naps daily high school didn't even much prepare me soon as i got to college i was feeling like obama i was so damn carefree didn't take time to do carefully all my classmates used to ask me how much to i draw now, barely sitting in the lab doing backflips talking bout how my clique had it now it don't matter had to make a call for my diploma troy moved to texas 'ronie went to arizona mawmee died that fall i wasn't feeling accomplished i was feeling off i always had a problem digging out of the ditch but around that time, man, i barely felt at all proposed the i walked after an argument supposed to get a job got apartment promoted at the spot that i been there still can't see how you perceive a win there i'm not getting wins i'm getting older told me that the knot could be lymphoma post surgery, whole month at home spent 3 whole weeks of it alone alotta people didnt even come to visit me got sad, went back to work to pivot no shows for a minute gridsquid texas is finally hitting, i'm gassed i was sitting on the sofa, still living the past while my friends were out having a blast i was down, keeping my wife hostage four years in between projects pa died now i'm looking at the prospect of giving up, but in rare moment, i said i'm keep on making till i make it so whatever that means, i'ma take it i'ma write it all down i'ma pick myself up i'ma represent my town i'ma tell em where i'm from ima kill it like i never killed it before ima put my foot in the door and tell em i ain't leaving till my family eating till demons defeated and i'm no longer afraid of my feelings yea, you told me i was nothing yea, you tell me i'm a scrub yea, i might still believe that no, i'm turning into something no, i'll never be perfect yea, i have to repeat that cuz i'll never be a winner cuz i'll never see it different unless i believe that and i'll never see the summit and i'll never get above it unless i delete that leave that

i was talking to my friends about it we just started working hard yall don't know a thing about it/ late to rise, so we rarely work longer than a 9 to 5 when you get popped for talking jive, i'm just glad i'm still alive, shit/ happy i still got a couple dudes to ride with wife in the passenger, this rap shit is my side chick/ its all family, whoever i arrive with high fiving like we mean it, guess we ain't your slice of pie then/ we can be our own genre be our own street team, become each others fans save up our wampum,/ do it like we mean it, cuz we love this and we can its my DNA to spit, only way i know to work my problems/ most rappers can't admit what they soft about confrontations with my damn self, tryna talk it out when somebody said shoot, i bent my wrist and got a lucky bounce when all i ever wanted was to keep the ball in bounds just happy that you let me in talking to JB about it one day just became a rapper didn't plan my day around it i just started filling up a composition tablet with all of that dramatic shit i had trouble handling its hard being soft as fuck, and trying to be a ruffian you ain't really built for that big heart on puppet strings waiting for another fling to tear me from the earth again searching for perfection you don't understand what perfect means i still don't understand some people's lapse of generous i exist in world where fighting back is everything cuz all that shit taught me was, when you have a local buzz keep on bubble till it busts and an indy labels mention it i may never get that type of recognition but i'd be lying if i told you i didn't still imagine that i could provide for my family just rapping and traveling so much has already happened and i'm not ready to pack it in yet every moments worth living im living proof you get what you're giving so give the truth they will know what we were made of by our fruit and we will gather what is dangled from the roots every moments worth living im living proof you get what you're giving so give the truth and if they judge us by the way we leave the booth people gather to see who dangled from the noose

I wish that i could ford the ocean i hope one day i spread my wings and fly i wish that you would mind your business this fight is between me myself and i hopefully hopefully, one day i'll be myself and no one else when everyone else is gone and i feel like a fraud cuz i'm beat up and scarred stop believing in god go home and beat up my dog see pieces of me in yall because we all see freedom in being involved all see deep in the scar looked into and i see what you are its a sign, a signal somewhere when you've paid for something for so damn long and worked yourself so damn hard that you feel like its yours but you still don't own it, that's fair? i tried to drive myself like a second-hand car on a beat up road in a boat i build with my own two hands but there isn't a sailor on the sea that (that) sea don't know if only i knew who the fuck i was am i right? when everything sucks and its all gone wrong open heart and full disclosure i'll be in the tub until the storm is over but the rain don't stop and you have no option but to turn the knob put your head underneath the faucet take a shower outside, whether the weather be sweltering or frostbit no choice when your default is who you are a combination of participation awards shows at venues you didn't belong all of your dreams and scars somebody loves you out there somebody is lungs and you are their air all the pieces that were wet and warped fit perfectly in someone's arms you are longer than your eyes can see your warmth and charm is your bread and butter i pray that i can dance that final number until my legs give out i wanna play the game if my body can i'm not sitting out or wishing i wasn't me if you're asking me how's the weather we'll see when it comes to be

Enter HAMLET HAMLET enters. HAMLET Now might I do it pat. Now he is a-praying. 75And now I’ll do ’t. And so he goes to heaven. And so am I revenged.—That would be scanned. A villain kills my father, and, for that, I, his sole son, do this same villain send To heaven. 80Oh, this is hire and salary, not revenge. He took my father grossly, full of bread, With all his crimes broad blown, as flush as May. And how his audit stands who knows save heaven? But in our circumstance and course of thought 85'Tis heavy with him. And am I then revenged

(sometimes it seems like the walls are closing in and the ceilings getting further from the ground and other days I wanna crawl inside my skin, pretend that I'm translucent just so you would fin'ly let me drown) the people in my life who are the heaviest to carry often have the most to say about my daily goings-on but its distraction, just a supplement concern, just to keep me in the circle and make me feel like I belong I make the biggest deal of minor inconveniences in (an) effort to make myself look like tornadoes in the meadow justify my logic telling everyone I'm lost but I'm not scared of what they'll say, I'm just afraid of my potential at this point in life I'm still not sure of what I want because I'm all too aware of the cost to what I have hoping someone someday has the balls to shake me loose, I'll still falsely claim its all preposterous, crack a smile and laugh maybe sabotage is the way that I make sense of it maybe comfort and success are two separate bricks and i'm building at the bottom of a precipice and the mortar never dries (so the) facade is always delicate more levity big high energy keep it all inside till it thrives in your belly face made of decoupage, i put that shit on everything came for the trial, you stuck around for the sentencing too many failures, no successes worth mentioning basically abrasive, mood swinging on a pendulum everybody swears his attitude will get the best of him (eventually) i truly hope it does (thanks for everything) insecurity is killing me in more just a method that is easily discernible from suicide and drugs but its my purity, the truth that only we know, so if I had a friend in peril, truly, who am I to judge standing on the precipice of destiny, deciding for myself how I want to land on jagged slate below because its not the ducets you can squeeze into your luggage (its about whether the snow melts or doesn't when your blood touches it) my body is the unit of measurement life is brutal and savage so why are we hesitant? why are we overthinking the sickness? this existence is a gentleman's club I'm not sure that I still want to be a veteran of overworked and so complicit, underneath it we're looking for excuses as to why we never bloomed I was always taught that the soul is immortal but i never shed that weight, my sense of impending doom please just stay away let me process all my pain while i buy another day i'm trying to regain my standing alone its written in my bones its coursing through my blood i'm just trying to stick my landing please just stay away

feel like two men across oceans standing in the same boat times when a joke aint a joke and a jab is a poke and its hard to emote pass around smiles while i put together mine so nobody knows im in pieces all the time searching for a sign cuz deaf dumb and blind i just wanna up and go, leave who i am behind torn between telling it all and admitting my faults apologizing and being absolved curling up in a ball and not wanting to deal between playing dumb and being an adult tired of spending life on the wall because starting to grow roots in the cracks lord knows, who you're born is who you are but i want to give who i am back (so) can we truly change is this who i am is it such a crime am i on the lam who am i fooling i'm doing this all to myself i'm on the run feeling it begin feel it well up and spin but when its all waged inside the attack i cant defend i dont know who i am i dont know who's my friend who cares whats the difference in the end im a sham, a charade im a liar, im a fake im alive im awake im inspired, im insane im tired of the race it always ends the same and im the only one around for me to blame so it is what it is